Baby now due before potential start date.

_JMac

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Evening all,

I've now passed my vPJFT and passed my NSRT and interview in early March, just before all the crisis happened. Passed the triage last month, and now all I'm waiting for is the face2face medicals with Capita to recommence to get a start date.

The obstacle now is my fiance is due October. We're a very strong unit, living within our means with a small mortgage, and she and the whole family are fully supporting my career choice. The work has been put in, and is still being so. I'm tired of it losing momentum. I was already put back a year last year for fracturing my wrist.

The dilemma now is can I still join with an infant on the way before it's born? Is that frowned upon by the service? Are there uncommon cases of recruits being allowed to leave for family reasons and come back, like your Mrs giving birth, or your close family member passing away, that kind of thing?

I know the simple answer is wait until your child is born, but at the same time RT still is a job, that's paid. Because of the lockdown I was put on furlough, which I'm still thankfully receiving even though my job has gone. Furlough isn't lasting much longer.

Also seems selfish of me, but i just want to get it done and get my start for RT.
 

Mattys

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Congrats on everything!

I remember when I was at basic training (army) several years ago now my close aunty passed away and I wasn’t aloud home for 2 weeks later (next leave) as it wasn’t a close relative (mum,dad,bro,sis) which was one of the reasons I ended up leaving at the time as I didn’t want to be held in that environment!

I know I have seen several posts on here about it and usually it’s to wait until your new born is of a certain age then go for it as they grow up so quick and you don’t want to miss those best years especially when you could be away for several months once you’ve passed out.

With child being born and having to take time off from training because of it I expect it would cause being back trooped or something along those lines depending what stage your at in training?

As you said it is still a job and you still need to provide and once your furlough is over and in these times work may be tricky to get.
Also looking at your age not sure if you’ve just turned 30 or approaching 31 but you don’t really have time on your side to have anymore setbacks or mistakes with the application so it’s one of those things can you justify being away for long periods of time away from your partner and new born only you can answer that.

good luck!
 

Geespt

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If you do decide to go for it you’ll more than likely be given your 2 weeks paternity leave i’m right in thinking.

With this though you’ll probably be back trooped as missing 2 weeks out of training is a lot, so just bear that in mind!

i’ve seen lads been sent home on paternity leave and funerals in training, however this is well before covid so i’m not sure what the process is currently for isolating on return to CTC as they’ll want you ‘clean’ i don’t know how they’re working it and it’s always changing, especially by October!

Good luck with everything!
 
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Wings

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On our side they were sent home if it went out that a man simply in training was refused to see his newborn child the media would have a field day.
 

Ninja_Stoker

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Firstly congratulations.

Your AFCO should be made aware of this if they aren't already.

Whether you should join prior to the birth of your child is up to you and less of an issue if you already have children and your partner is 100% happy she can cope fully in your absence and also the fact that you may not manage to get home in time for the birth if things do not go entirely as planned. They often don't.

If it's the first child, then be prepared for a huge change in priorities by your partner and probably yourself also.

As correctly pointed out, if you join before the birth, you will almost certainly be back-trooped due to the fact you will cease recruit training for a week or two. That may not seem a big deal now, but rest assured it will be a significant issue at the time. The other issue, as already alluded is the fact it's quite possible your partner may no longer be quite as supportive of your career aspirations if she finds being effectively a single Mum is difficult in your absence.

Either way best of luck.
 

ShadeeFigs

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Just wondering where you got with this Jmac. I've found myself in a similar situation but with my ex and unfortunately for me I'm not a complete *text deleted**text deleted* that is willing to forget it happened.
I also don't have age on my side and have had more than enough set backs but I also would like to at least be there for the birth which rough estimate would happen 25-30 weeks into training.
I also trying to remind myself that its the military, its a huge commitment and my best mate missed the birth of 3 of his 5 kids because of deployment so kind of suck it up.
 
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