Dave the chicken



Dave came home from the pub steaming drunk on a Friday night, same as usual and staggered in to the bedroom. He noisily took his clothes off and fell in to bed, kissing his wife on the cheek and lapsed in to a deep sleep.

He awoke to find himself in a room with a strange man at the foot of the bed.

'This is not my bedroom and who the hell are you?' Dave exclaimed

'This is not your bedroom and I am St Peter' the man said

'Does that mean I'm dead?' said Dave in a panic

'Yes', said St Peter, 'it does'

'But I'm too young, I have a wife and family, I need to go back' said Dave

'Well, I can reincarnate you but it will be as either a cat or a chicken' said St Peter

Dave thought for a while. The chicken was the best option as there was a farm down the road and he could pop home to see how the family were getting along, so he chose the chicken.

The next thing, Dave is pecking at the ground in the farmyard eating seeds and worms. Before long he is joined by the farm cockerel.

'How are you getting along in your first day as a chicken? The cockerel asks

'Well' said Dave, 'not too bad although I have this funny feeling in my stomach'

'Aahh', the cockerel said, 'you are ovulating, you need to lay an egg so just push it out'.

Dave did this and he felt much better, then he had the feeling again, so he pushed another egg out.

With that, he felt a slap on his head and it was his wife!

She shouted at him 'Wake up Dave you dirty b@stard you're sh!tting the bed!!


Venerated Contributor
Apr 1, 2008
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whaaaaaaaaaaaaayyyyy! I liked that *text deleted*


Veteran Contributor
Jun 15, 2007
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OOO sotiris did this happen to you really? *text deleted* good one