Feeling Depressed or Anxious in relation to bereavement? Read on.

Discussion in 'Stickies/Frequently Asked Questions' started by Ninja_Stoker, Oct 27, 2014.

  1. Ninja_Stoker

    Ninja_Stoker Careers Adviser

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    One increasingly common knock-back at the medical examination is a medical history or depression or anxiety. It is not intended to appear callous or uncaring, but for those that wish to join the Armed Forces, the following may help you through the grieving process without significantly deferring medical suitability.

    The extreme physical and mental duress routinely encountered in Recruit Training and Operationally as a trained rank mean that the Naval Service is exceptionally wary with regard the medical suitability for service of any applicant with a history of mental health issues, particularly if medication is involved.

    At risk of stating the blindingly obvious, if you are unlucky enough to experience bereavement following the loss or imminent loss of someone close, please be aware it is entirely natural to feel exceptional sorrow, anger, confusion and emptiness as they are all natural reactions to death. Grief and Depression share some common symptoms.

    Don't confuse grief with depression. Professional guidance here: http://www.counselling-directory.org.uk/bereavement.html#howtotellifgriefhasbecomedepression

    Sadly there is no magic pill for a quick fix to grief and the grieving process is a natural healing process in the majority of cases. If it is so severe that the individual feels they have depression and need medical treatment to help them get over it, then it is important their personal health comes first. But, at the same time you need a pragmatic approach and must also understand that this can significantly affect future employability on the Armed Forces.

    Medical standards for entry relating to psychiatric conditions : http://www.arrse.co.uk/community/attachments/148214/

    Discussion thread on mental health issues in UK Armed Forces: http://www.royalmarines.uk/threads/mental-health.53447/
     
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    Last edited: Apr 21, 2016
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  3. StandSure

    StandSure Member

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    Wanted to bump this, to say thank you for the link its quite informative and helpful, as of this Morning I was informed of my Dad passing away peacefully, he had a interesting life he saw the Falklands conflict and 4 tours in Northern Ireland along with a couple others to boot and after many years of PTSD and Mayhem he can finally lay to rest...

    Although this may seem out of place to some, he Lived for the Military and never let it go even after discharge, MODs feel free to remove if inappropriate and apologies if so, just thought that this way he can be remembered to a degree with the Military thought in mind.

    Kind Regards and All the Best.

    Stand Sure
     
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  4. Wingzero

    Wingzero Active Member

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    @StandSure I hope all is ok bud! his spirit lives on in you. You'll be in the corp soon enough to share in the experience of being in the RM. stay well
     
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  5. StandSure

    StandSure Member

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    Cheers buddy means a lot, he was Army Infantry before going on to become a Pathfinder...

    He had a great respect for the RMC though Its how I originally found out about the Corps
     
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  6. CapriJB

    CapriJB Member

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  7. StandSure

    StandSure Member

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    Aye I'm good, living up to my family motto, Stand Sure... My shoulders are broad for a reason ;)

    Thank you though bud means a lot
     
  8. Old Man

    Old Man Ex-Matelot

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    My condolences to you and your family.
     
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  9. StandSure

    StandSure Member

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    thank you bud its appreciated
     
  10. Ninja_Stoker

    Ninja_Stoker Careers Adviser

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    Sincere condolences, it's never easy. I'm just glad you saw this thread at the right juncture.
     
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  11. StandSure

    StandSure Member

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    thank you its appreciated, and it has helped a lot :)
     
  12. Sortezy

    Sortezy Member

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  13. Harsh

    Harsh Member

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    Would depression as result of poor circumstance make you barred. My mum has had terminal cancer since I was 12 and this has understandingly effected me, this and witnessing my grandmas death age 10 has left me obviously a bit sad and envious of other people. Today my head of faculty at college says she thinks I have depression, I completely disagree and know the main reason I'm annoyed and not always paying attention is due to me not being where I want to be. I hope that made sense, I don't want some misreading of my circumstances and attitude to result in a referral to GP. (Hope that made some sense) outside of college I'm happy but the entire dire routine leaves me frustrated! Sorry to hijack thread for my own gain.
     
  14. Harsh

    Harsh Member

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    Everyone seems to be telling me that I'm depressed ,and no she isn't medically qualified. She has sent me to councling in college. The simple reality for my poor grades is own lack of control and poor time management! Sometimes just need simple truth like that! The meeting really made me question my mental health!
     
  15. Shadow Frog

    Shadow Frog Well-Known Member

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    I don't know what it's like what you've been through and I feel for you. Just stay mentally strong and always be positive no matter what happens. Smile in the face of adversity!
     
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  16. Chelonian

    Chelonian Well-Known Member

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    As alluded to by @arny01 if you feel fine, just crack on, chin up. Your well-meaning but unqualified Head of Faculty cannot compel an adult to consult a medical professional. It's your choice, even paradoxically, if rejecting medical help harms you. Obviously there are exceptions, but such exceptions are extreme and often involve the intervention of the courts to override an adult individual's free will to accept or reject mediacl attention.

    Nobody can send you to see a counsellor either. Once again, it's your choice.

    This is a common reaction. Often it is evidence that a person has adequate mental capacity to be aware of his or her circumstances. Put simply: a good thing!

    It is understandable that circumstances such as bereavment can make any of us feel low. This is not mental illness, it is normal.

    If you are not clinically depressed avoid getting railroaded into having a history of depression entered on your medical records. It can happen and it is not at all easy to expunge once it is there.

    If I were in similar circumstances I would consider writing my Head of Faculty a simple, polite letter thanking him or her for the concern but stating that you feel fine and that you decline the opportunity to visit the counsellor. Basically, that lets the Head of Faculty off the hook. He or she has demonstrated duty of care and that's the end of the matter.

    One important caveat: my comments on an internet forum are not advice. They are simply comments to consider before you make your own fully informed choice.

    Good luck.
     
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  17. Parhelia

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    If she’s not medically qualified, perhaps take it with a pinch of salt. But do consider that she is genuinely looking out for your wellbeing – not all teachers are astute or caring enough to do that.

    I am truly sorry for your situation, that’s unimaginably awful and it must be very difficult. I wish there was something I could do to help.


    Depression isn’t the same as sadness, and a lot of people don’t realise that. People who are sad are sad for short periods of time, but tend to bounce back relatively quickly – the time it takes them to do so can vary, but they bounce back.

    Depression is more of a long-term issue – you feel down all the time, tend to be quite lethargic, and generally don’t have a lot of enthusiasm for anything. You might smile or laugh, but you’re not necessarily happy. Also note that people with depression often hide the true extent of their feelings from others.

    If you do feel that the above situation applies to you, it may be worth seeking some support for you. There’s no shame in it. As stated in a post above, your long-term wellbeing is far more important than any career. As horrible as it is, if the Armed Forces door was shut to you because of a history of depression, it is for your own benefit (as much as that may seem counter-intuitive), and being able to seek professional help which will ultimately make you a happier person in the long-run is the more sensible course of action.

    I can’t speak from a trained perspective on this, but I do know about depression and the effect it can have on people. It’s good to be able to understand the warning signs.


    As also stated previously by @arny01 , don’t necessarily do anything (in terms of jobs or education) that you don’t want to do simply because you feel like that’s the ‘right’ thing to do or because that’s what people expect of you. Do something that you’re passionate about and that you enjoy – it might make things at home a bit easier.


    Good luck with everything, try and keep positive. :)
     
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  18. Harsh

    Harsh Member

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    Didn't expect such a great response! Thanks I got to go to the counciller to keep the my head of faculty happy. I'm just going to explain it may off been a bit of misunderstanding, and not viewing my situation correctly.
     
  19. Chelonian

    Chelonian Well-Known Member

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    @Harsh
    Just to add to my previous post: although adults cannot be compelled to seek medical attention—except in often extreme circumstances—many people benefit from engaging in what is known as talking therapy.

    Family and friends often tell us what they think we want to hear. Well meaning but sometimes counterproductive. A qualified, experienced, objective counsellor can be helpful to bounce ideas off. Particularly if the service is subsidised. I just asked a colleague of mine who provides counselling services within secondary education as well as her private practice. Her private client fee is over £100 per hour.

    If you choose to speak with a counsellor first seek explicit reassurance about confidentiality but don't reject the notion totally.
     
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  20. Ninja_Stoker

    Ninja_Stoker Careers Adviser

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    The medical standards on this issue are outlined in Paragraph 4L.19 (below)
     

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