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Fighting unit survival guide

Discussion in 'General Royal Marines Joining Chit Chat' started by ave!, Nov 4, 2016.

  1. DutyWretch

    DutyWretch Royal Marines Commando

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    Mind blown.

    Good thing they got rid of K3's the branch every Bootneck who got in trouble was pinged for.

    MPs branch has a waiting list???.....

    -vomit--vomit--vomit-











    -vomit-
     
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  2. DutyWretch

    DutyWretch Royal Marines Commando

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    Maybe joining runs and all that *text deleted* are resigned to the history books since lads started getting custodial sentences for torture ...

    Good thing too I suppose, although you have to question guys who join a unit like the RM and all that that entails ie closing with and killing the enemy at close quarters, but run to the law when someone makes them drink a few pints of milk and throws a few eggs at them.


    But it was all getting very stupid and over the top towards the end of my career, so it was always going to happen.
     
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  3. Illustrious

    Illustrious Royal Marines Commando - Moderator

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    I don't think it's a few pints of milk and a couple of eggs getting people in trouble. Looking back, my joining run would have been classed as an ABH with the level of injury I had.

    Lads joining these days are considerably more aware of their options around them and are rightly using the Corps to prepare for their future. Unfortunately, 22 years puts you nowhere near retirement age anymore. Branches that you wouldn't think of, are well stocked with people waiting.
     
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  4. Caversham

    Caversham Former RM Commando, Moderator

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    A few years ago they started recruiting guys specifically for the Chefs and Clerks branch. These guys would do the full training package, including the tests, be awarded their green lid and then straight onto a K3 or C3 course. If you tried to change your mind it was a no go, until you done a return of service. There is a guy around who signed up for this, done a return of service as a K3 and then went SF.

    However, I have to say that bootneck chefs had some of the best characters around who weren't adverse to dragging a complainer over the hotplate!

    Alan
     
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  5. Ninja_Stoker

    Ninja_Stoker Admin

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    There is some credence to the fact that Royal Marine Chefs were the only trained killers that practiced their art on a daily basis.
     
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  6. DutyWretch

    DutyWretch Royal Marines Commando

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    Yeah a lad who passed out with my troop got pinged for Clerks training straight out of the box, he was quite happy with the offer as he had a young family and was promised a draft close to his home.

    And I can vouch for chefs being hoofing blokes, and only a fool messes with the guy that's cooking their dinner, especially one that's also a trained commando!

    Digressing I think it's a real shame that 'pay as you dine' was introduced (I left just as it was incoming) as I understand the standard of scran (which I could never complain about Navy/RM chefs were truly outstanding) has taken a nose dive, and some lads are eating cereal three times a day due to poor financial decisions..
     
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  7. ThreadpigeonsAlpha

    ThreadpigeonsAlpha Royal Marines Commando

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    The scran these days is shocking. We would resort to buying George Foremans and other such kit and cooking together.

    It does make me laugh when some of the hierarchy were complaining lads were doing this, and using protein supplements, saying that the scran offered gives you everything you need, I don't think I have ever seen lads laugh so hard when we got back to the grots.

    I would rather spend my money on decent food and cook with the lads then waste it on that garbage. And I refuse to eat religiously killed food. It's all halal and they don't even notify you. I saw a young Sikh soldier in an Army base get left with very little choice after asking the chef.

    It was far better before pay as you dine, and you always got to smash the scran. None of this "one egg only " BS.
     
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  8. C30

    C30 Member

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    DSS is being pinged for a specialisation, unsure of what it actually stands for

    FSG is Fire Support Group
     
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  9. C

    C Guest

    Direct Specialisation Scheme?
     
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  10. PotentialToff

    PotentialToff Member

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    Friday we got an ENTRY NUMBER ONE
    Saturday we got an ENTRY NUMBER TWO
    Really hoping there is an ENTRY NUMBER THREE today as this is becoming my new favourite broadsheet!

    An ideal topic if the author is taking suggestions.
     
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  11. Sausage

    Sausage New Member

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    i know fsg means fire support group but not sure about DSS
     
  12. ave!

    ave! Royal Marines Commando

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    Authors note : due to a terrible draft coming through today i'm slightly more threaders than usual. So I may run out of gypsy tears due to higher than usual demand. You have been warned.

    ENTRY NUMBER THREE

    Bet you feel pretty cool now don't you. The survival guide has right royally ( get it? ) squared you away to be harry von hoofbats of the General Dogsbody world.

    Not quite

    CAMP

    Ah camp life. Its like your mistress. Royal Marines are married to the field. But Camp has a boob job. Camp tucks you in and it gives you a special wake up surprise in the morning. We all secretly like being on camp even know we said our vows to be faithful to the field. The field can wait till later though.

    Like all mistresses you can't have too much or you start getting into trouble though.

    The scran is interesting. I say interesting as its a neutral word if you think about it. How anyone can ruin pizza i'll never know. Plus the government have now started charging more tax on military food. We got told that if more lads used the galley then the galley could afford to get better quality food... gen.

    As a thrusting new guy you will be sticking your mit up for every detail going. Or face the consequences no doubt. You may also get the GPMG or a Crowcann....LSW. For some bizzare reason they have taken away the LMG now so don't expect that bad boy.

    Also expect Friday weapon cleaning so you always hit rush hour traffic on the way home. Pussers is thoughtful like that. Expect to spend a lot of time standing around waiting for a detail too. Normally while giving evil eyes to the seniors and officers who are all idly chatting away while you are all stood around thinking about your poor life choices.

    FIELD

    This is the horrible mare you married. That nasty nasty cow. However. Its a lot better than it was in training. You may be lucky enough to get a black alligator or a Norway or even a jungle. Yes they can be *text deleted* in certain ways but deep down everyone joins up to go abroad and shoot *text deleted* , eat their scran and plug into their chicks.

    Enjoy the field. If your bosses are the kind who look after the lads then it'll be hard cover galore and CQB

    Just dig out blind in the field ( doesn't really have to be said ) and expect to carry that little bit more than the others. Free phys.

    OFFICERS ( By request )

    We are a caring team of authors. Ill talk about officers. But as a new guy there is only one that really has a massive impact on you. Your troop commander.

    Your troop boss will have probably come straight from the batch to you. At this early stage you should definitely go and ask him to get on courses he has never heard of.All you have to do is sort all the admin yourself and simply say all you need is his approval. Everyone wins. He looks like he is getting his lads on courses and you avoid camp politics for a short while. Beauties like the ECDL qual which gets you back to lympstone to swan around in civvies for a few weeks or even your next level English and maths that gets you the same. However I'm not telling you any more of my secret box of holiday courses...

    If you have a good boss he will sit you down as soon as possible for a private one on one. Before you get excited about gaining a sugar daddy ; this should be to ask about where you want to go and what you want to do. Individual experience may vary kiddo.. If he is really good he could even give you a gentle steer in the right direction to getting your goals. Such as a phone number of someone who runs the snipes acquaint?

    He won't do any pestering for you though , that's not really his job. If he encourages you to do it however he is doing his job. I.E. Making you have the confidence to ask questions and by extension give you more confidence at this early stage in your career.. if you know what I mean.

    The best boss one of us had would take the lads for a candid chat away from where the walls had ears , as a troop and simply ask what morale was really like.

    Don't keep bothering him though. He wont show it but he will get threaders if you are in his office twice a day.

    FINAL NOTES

    That's it. I cant think of much else to advise now. Hopefully that fat guy on the dance floor wont pin you against the urinal.. Hopefully you eventually pull that essence chick who tempts all the lads with *text deleted* drops. You'll know who I mean. The one with the 'Selection' tramp stamp. I wouldn't know about her , but I'm sure there are some old and bold brass cannons on here who will spin their 'second man in the window' dit. To finish here are some quick fire tips.

    Leave your honking phys trainers outside the grot

    Make wets badly. Nobody will make you make them again

    Drive wagons badly for the same reason

    Don't call Cpls Cpl

    Don't ask for an obvious

    Don't tell us how you were a diamond thus 'Have done this before'

    Remember that sense of humour is the most important one.. Hopefully these posts highlight that.

    Nobody will sort out your career for you. Be proactive
     
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  13. cc1

    cc1 (former RM)

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    Not on my watch! Make 'em nice or make 'em twice ;)
     
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  14. Illustrious

    Illustrious Royal Marines Commando - Moderator

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    I dont get involved in roll offs for exactly that reason. Its not that I dont try, lads just hate my hot wets. Ungrateful cretins.
     
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  15. Sam1

    Sam1 Royal Marines Commando - Moderator

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    That sounds like gravel belly talk..-vomit-
     
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  16. MassamanDave

    MassamanDave Member

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    Very good read. A bump for anyone that hasn't seen this!
     
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  17. thewolveriene

    thewolveriene New Member

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    FSG (Fire Support Group), Mainly provide GPMG support for lads who are really in the thick of it.
     
  18. ave!

    ave! Royal Marines Commando

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    Jesus , wrote that two years ago. Feels like yesterday
     
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  19. Caversham

    Caversham Former RM Commando, Moderator

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    And how much have things changed, if at all?

    Alan
     
  20. ave!

    ave! Royal Marines Commando

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    Unfortunately I’m not at a fighting unit anymore but I do hear whispers..
     
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