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Is it hard in relationships ?

Discussion in 'Introductions & Welcome to the Royal Marines Site' started by kingzzy89, Nov 18, 2012.

  1. kingzzy89

    kingzzy89 New Member

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    Hi guys I'm new to this site and about to apply for the marines but in two minds I've always wanted to do it from a young age but couldn't do it when I left school due to asthma got cleared of the 4 years when I was 21 where I met my gf and stalled on joining anyways 2 years on still really want to do it as jobs on civvy street if u don't have many qualifications are pants and dead end I've l live with my gf and been with her for 2 and half years we live in Bournemouth and her family's in Leeds so she would go back up their when I went training etc etc she says she's fully supportive about me joining just worried if it would end out relationship which is strong now and i think shes the one without sounding cheesy *text deleted** on the other hand I don't want to not to join just because of that and have regrets when I'm to old to join I'm 23 so if all goes well I would be 24 when joining what you guys think any of u currently joining who are in a long term relationship or married with advice cheers people . Lee
     
  2. OneMoreWrap

    OneMoreWrap Venerated Contributor

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    Search the forum!!

    Plenty of thread on this topic.

    no-longer-validshowthread.php?t=53045&highlight=Relationships&page=2[/url]

    Top post in page 2 is by a serving trained rank.
     
  3. MacheteMeetsBiscuit

    MacheteMeetsBiscuit Venerated Contributor

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    That's got to be the longest sentence I've ever read.
     
  4. OneMoreWrap

    OneMoreWrap Venerated Contributor

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    Haha, I didn't even notice that :doh:
     
  5. Valour

    Valour Veteran Contributor

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    In a World without punctuation cannibalism runs rampant. Observe.

    Let's eat Grandma. < Let's eat, Grandma.

    Punctuation saves lives people!

    :uglyhammer:
     
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  6. Chelonian

    Chelonian Moderator

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    Hello and welcome. Have a dig through the threads because yours is a dilemma which is timeless. It may help to read the experiences of others, some of which are quite brutal because a woman was chosen over a career and then the woman promptly vanished. Communication and honest conversations about expectations may be a good start.
     
  7. Steven37

    Steven37 Well-Known Member

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    Hi mate im going through a similar situation as yourself,*text deleted** been with my gf for nearly 4years now and got my prmc in a few weeks.The best thing i think is to be honest with her and be very understanding of how hard its going to be for her as shes always going to be worried about the worst happening.Obviously on one hand theyre not going to want you to go because of all the time your going to be apart but on the other hand my gf is my number 1 supporter and has helped me prepare for all stages whether it be motivation or asking practise questions for the interview or telling me if i fail prmc shes going to kick my *text deleted**text deleted* because of what *text deleted** put her through hahaha because she wants me to be happy in my career and would never stand in the way of something i want to do just like i wouldnt with her.
    So if your serious about staying together then i think you can be in a relationship even though a lot of guys say its a single life.All you can do is be honest and not have any regrets because if you chose not to give it a go because of your gf then later on in life you could end up always resenting her for stopping you doing what you wanted.
    Hope that helped mate,goodluck
     
  8. Ninja_Stoker

    Ninja_Stoker Admin

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    I just turned blue and fell off my chair trying to read it. Fortunately, no-one noticed.
     
  9. Super_Luke

    Super_Luke Member

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    I know the feeling mate, me and my girlfriend where together 2 and half years. Loved each other to bits, and got on really well. Went on holiday all the usual happy relationship stuff. She and her family where behind me 100 % the whole time. Then on the lead up to my PRMC i had some problems with her. I was training and obsessed with the marines so much she started distancing her self and it really got to me. She started saying things like i don't know if i love you and that she was stressed with a levels, the sparks gone blah blah blah. During my PRMC she was texting me all nicey nice. Then after my PRMC she annoyed me so much i broke up with her over a phone call. It has got to me really bad, i did not take it well at all. Even after all this she says she wants to stay in contact and thinks are relationship will start again in the future. Meeting her tomorrow don't really know how its going to go down. Mixed feelings about it see how it goes.

    Basically mate from my short experiences so far, don't mix the two together. They don't mix, keep girlfriend separate, let her know what your doing. But don't harp on about it, for my girlfriend it was just to much. Basically messed up a healthy relationship, now i am sorting things out before i start RT !
     
  10. EarlyBird

    EarlyBird Active Member

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    In response to OP.

    It is hard but it can work. To say relationships and the marines do not mix is cobblers in my opinion as everyone is different and therefore every relationship between two people is different.

    For me I believe my relationship is strong enough to last while I am in the RM for reasons I won't bore you with. The main one is however, my girlfriend is 100% supportive of what I am doing. If this changed then so might my outlook.
     
  11. Unregistered

    Unregistered Guest

    To be honest mate i thought it would mix. I thought talking to her about it would help, and her support helped through my training and PRMC. She was awesome, made sure i went for a run asked how my training was going, made sure i had a decent breakfast before i trained. But now she basically thinks i am going to be taken away forever, and she bottled it all up and doesn't talk. Given her space to think, now we are meeting tomorrow. Going to try and get her to come to my RT briefing so she knows what the score is. But because we are not together at the moment i need to take it one step at a time. I hoped she was going to be there through thick and thin, but now i am having my doubts and this could have repercussions on my application.

    But seriously i think if you have a decent girl, that loves you i think it could make training easier. The whole time i was doing my PRMC (granted it was only 3 days) i was thinking i am going to do this for both of us. It did give me that little extra i needed, and i knew i had someone other than family to go home to.
     
  12. kingzzy89

    kingzzy89 New Member

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    Cheers for all the advice guys definitely taking it on board how far are all of you lot with training ,application process etc etc ?
     
  13. Steven37

    Steven37 Well-Known Member

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    i agree with not going on about the RM constantly as it can get a bit much for your girlfriend and even thought its hard as you do get quite obssessed with it all - i know i have a bit- but when im with my gf *text deleted** learnt not to talk about it all the time and make sure i ask her how things are going with her and then actually listen instead of letting my mind wonder off and start thinking about my training and stats etc etc.Definately try your hardest to do that mate.
    Oh and im on the last leg now with my PRMC coming up in december
     
  14. Chelonian

    Chelonian Moderator

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    Recruit training in any military service is almost by definition self-centred.

    As well as fascinating the lady in question with chat about sprint and pull-up stats, maybe try talking about Families Day, long weekends, leave and other stuff that might include her.

    NB: I confess that I am not particularly skilled in communicating with the female of the species so please treat advice with caution. :unsure:
     
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  15. TheGeek

    TheGeek Venerated Contributor

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    Quite simply you get out of both a career and a relationship what you put in. You have to be fit and savvy to train as a marine which by necessity takes time and effort. However if you want your relationship to last you will need to put in the effort, and that means when you get time together make it quality time.

    I for instance hit the gym quite hard but I also try to get my wife into exercising now and then, and when we have a Friday off together we go out into the garden or go to the countryside for long walks, when possible we all sit down and eat as a family.

    If your relationship collapses I think it is less likely to be the job and more likelt to be how you have adapted to your relationship. To expect the relationship to carry on with no effort is kidding yourself. If your other half drops you because of your choice of career I would consider wether that's the only reason.

    Geek
     
  16. OneMoreWrap

    OneMoreWrap Venerated Contributor

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    And also if she is going to break up with you over your career aspirations then you're most definetly better off without her.
     
  17. Unregistered

    Unregistered Guest

    agree with this guy, my relationship is now not fixable because i dint put the effort in. I only thought and spoke about the marines. Lost the love of my life, but hey i got the job of my life to look forward too ;)
     
  18. lewis22

    lewis22 Member

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    haha i never noticed that either
     
  19. Steven37

    Steven37 Well-Known Member

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    thanks for the advice mate,yea we have spoken about the times id get off etc and looking to book some shorts breaks away,thanks again
     
  20. Bengi

    Bengi Member

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    I completely agree. My girlfriend is very supportive at the moment. Telling me things like if I don't come back with a Green Beret then she wont be there to come back too!
    All good stuff. Talking about long leave and all the other benefits is good as well, like others have said don't overload her with all the times your going to be away. I hope mine keeps such a supportive and positive attitude but will have to see!