Massive dilema for your green beret!

Matt B

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You walk over that final bridge on the 30 miler and it's all over.

For some reason your Mum and your Dad and waiting for you.

You are then grabbed and have a gun put to your head.

You are given a choice, you must go down on either your Mum or your Dad, and you must 'fully satisfy them'.

You are given 1 final choice, you can walk home and your dream is over, 32 weeks for nothing.

What do you do!?
 

Seedytucker

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dude... you were either held far too much, or no where near enough as a kid! *text deleted*
someone put a gun to my head and gave me that offer, either i'd die or they would. mind you my mum's pretty fit.....*text deleted*
 

Matt B

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yea, i am pretty wrong.

I'd do my Mum, I could get it over and done with quicker as having never gone down on a man I'd probably be sh1t!

So there you are in the back on a Police van having killed someone and your dreams of being a Marine are over, and I would be stood proud with a green beret on my head and a dribbly chin.
 

Robbie Spice

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hmm well if i've just done a 30 miler and I live in the midlands, that's *text deleted* be 1 *text deleted**text deleted*in long walk home.
 

Seedytucker

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So there you are in the back on a Police van having killed someone and your dreams of being a Marine are over, and I would be stood proud with a green beret on my head and a dribbly chin.
*text deleted* mate you're dark. i take it your old dear's a squirter then? *text deleted*
it would be considered self defence and as it's on MOD land there would be no fallout from it. though i appreciate that you assume i win rather than having my brains forcibly vacated from my skull!
 

Matt B

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I am dark, I don't know how I haven't been permanently banned from this site before now, I have been showing great restraint.

Firstly, it wouldn't be self defence, the gun wasn't really there to be used, just to show how serious they are about you having to do this for your beret.
Its the walk home that would be the biggest pain in the ar$e!

Also it's not MOD land.

Not a squirter, its just I'm already over-salivating at the thought of it, so actually doing it would be messy!
 

Seedytucker

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really i thought it was? nevermind. well if the gun wasn't there to be used then i wouldn't have to die/kill. i'd just say "no ta mate, i'll just take my lid and be off" i think the previous 32 weeks rather proove how serious all are about the beret. or are you saying in a very matt-ish way that you dont think they're hard enough on recruits?!
Not a squirter, its just I'm already over-salivating at the thought of it, so actually doing it would be messy!
the phrase is far too over used, but i did just laugh out loud. i hope i get to meet you in RT. *text deleted*
 

Robbie Spice

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the gun is to show that they're serious but they're not *text deleted* use it, that doens't real make too much sense. If someone puts a gun to your head I'm pretty sure in a court of law you'd be ok for self defence.



Anyway , Matt B you started this thread and already stated you'd go down on your mum. I think you need to get some therapy as you've just been sitting around thinking about going down on your mum.
 

Seedytucker

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you've just been sitting around thinking about going down on your mum.
i think he's been pacing up and down getting more and more wound up about the idea, muttering to himself and twitching...
 

Matt B

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It's just a question I once was asked, not in relation to my green beret, just "If I had to, which one"

The gun is hypothetical, as is the green beret really, they're just there to get you to pick an answer rather than say "neither" as most people do!

Yes I picked my mum, but on the other hand, I didn't pick my dad. It's wrong either way, but I chose the sick option rather than the sick and gay option!

I think seedy is avoiding the question not *text deleted* it's hard to pick one, it's hard for him to leave one out!
 

Seedytucker

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*text deleted* my mum:
n677584514_614601_1984.jpg

i dont know what the old man looks like these days so IF i had to choose i guess it'd have to be the old dear over walking away, a gun to the head wouldnt be enough though
 

Stacka

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Ha ha ha............man you guys got too much time on your hands!

When do you ever train?
 

Seedytucker

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i'm out of work *text deleted* and cant do any cardio (see broken toe thread for why) so all i can do is weights and bitch at matt and MTW, well until monday when i start my new job...
 

Stacka

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i'm out of work *text deleted* and cant do any cardio (see broken toe thread for why) so all i can do is weights and bitch at matt and MTW, well until monday when i start my new job...

whats your trade?
 

Matt B

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Seedy, thats exactly how I imagined you look like!

Didn't think your mum would have such an impressive beard though!

Being out of work sucks, I'm *text deleted* be redundant at the end of this month, to be honest though I think its *text deleted* I spend all day on the internet on here and facebook!

I do normally train hard in the mornings, evenings and weekends, but due to my knee I have had to post-pone my PRMC and just do press ups till my shockwave therapy is over and my orthotics arrive.
 

Seedytucker

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whats your trade?
no trade mate. worked in bars and travelled for 5 years then changed to call centre work so i could get into uni (nightwork allowed me to go to college in day). start work on monday in another sh*tty call centre. but off to southampton in a month then (hopefully) RT a few months after that.

Seedy, thats exactly how I imagined you look like!
Didn't think your mum would have such an impressive beard though!
got a thing for beards eh matt? yeah it takes a while to get my hair that shiney blonde colour but i think it's worth the effort, just not looking forward to having to shave it all off for rt :cry:

sh*t 900 posts.:worried:
 

Matt B

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yea 900 is pretty excessive.

I've worked in a call centre. We used to see how many times we could change our accent through the call and still get the lead and without the person on the other end mentioning about it.

I was crap, I can't even do my own accent, but one of my mates was spot on and provided me with many a giggle!
 

Seedytucker

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*text deleted* yea i tried that but i always end up sounding afrikaan/indian. cant really get away with it here, it's an insurance firm, and they're all a bit sombre, but it's only for a month
 

Robbie Spice

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Yeah I've been out of work for ages now, it's weird though, I went training this morning and then I get back home and I watch some tv then I come on here and I get bored, I've just been out for a beer with my mate and bought myself some bottles of Tuborg and Grolsch to drink now. It's sunny and when I have nothing to do, sittin in the sun drinking on a friday seems good. It's weird though, beer tastes so much better to me when I've wokred or done something and deserved it.. but boredom turns me to booze... plus IT IS FRIDAY.

Were you ever in Eastenders Seedy ?

_1925206_beppeeastenders150.jpg
 

Matt B

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Frankensteins monster comes to mind!
 

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