Need cheering up?

["Crikey mate"]

Here's one for anyone who needs cheering up after a miserable week....

Last night after work I was doing a mock PJFT at a local PureGym....

On the 1.5 return I was powering away, looking at about a 9min return, not bad on a treadmill, breathing as deep as I could and pumping the arms away....

Next thing I know I'm dry heaving and having to hold back vomit...

Some absolute creature on the treadmill next to me drops one of the most gut wrenching, stinkiest farts I've ever smelt in my life I think I inhaled it so deep I'm still going to be smelling it next week ...

Had to jump straight off the treadmill and run to the loo where I power chucked everywhere....then had to spend about 5 minutes cleaning my own vomit up from all over a toilet cubicle.....all while dripping sweat with headspins from the run

Never wanted to bang someone out so badly in my life...threaders is an understatement! Was still cursing the cretin under my breath as I went to bed...

Woke up today and can see the funny side in hindsight now haha

Anyone had any similar experiences?

 

[arny01]

Anyone had any similar experiences?

Not quite similar, but on my stag do, I had one to many, and could feel myself needing to spew. I was in the middle of a packed pub. Too far from the front exit. It was imminent that spew was going to happen.

I made a huge sprint to the toilets. All cubicles were locked!! I was beginning to wretch at this point. Wet spew was migrating from my nostrils.

I booted a door open in one of the cubicles, and let it go!! Big.

All over some poor fella having a peaceful dump.

 

[wellmemedmyboy]

Pfa about to come in well under 9.20
About over take the Lt and be a right ledge
Spew into the grass because my breakfast comes up
Come in at 9.44 and spew on the grass again. Treat yoselves

 

[Chelonian]

Being vomited on by a woman of my acquaintance during an intimate moment while in the lift of a high-rise. Many years ago, but I'm still scarred by the memory.

 

[arny01]

Being vomited on by a woman of my acquaintance during an intimate moment while in the lift of a high-rise. Many years ago, but I'm still scarred by the memory.

You dark horse!!

 

[DhobiWanKenobi]

Spewing in my boss’ office while getting my SJAR, the morning after my leaving run ashore. Then again in my oppo’s dad’s car, on the train platform and on the train.

 

[Chelonian]

Spewing in my boss’ office while getting my SJAR, the morning after my leaving run ashore.

Splendid! Ensuring that you won't be forgotten.

You dark horse!!

There's more. It got much worse; but this is a family-friendly forum.

 

[Caversham]

You dark horse!!

And you!

Alan

 

[arny01]

Lots of spew stories going on here?? And there's me thinking it was only me who thinks you keep drinking until your sick!!?

 

[DJANGO]

Speaking of drinking until you're sick, once upon a time I'd been knocking beers back all day, to the point where one more drop of fluid would bust the dam and would cause it all to come shooting out of one orifice or another. Cue a fit blonde! Imagine my luck when she offered to buy ME a drink! A shot of something but still- down it went. And immediately, up it came again- all over some poor sod stood at the bar next to us. Anyway she must have been impressed with the volume of fluid my body can hold because she gave me a chewy and started getting off with me! The mind boggles

 

[Chelonian]

Lots of spew stories going on here??

Just to mix it up a bit, traditionally my particular alcohol-associated downfall isn't spewing but someone else issuing some daft challenge which for some reason I find difficult to decline. Such as:

"You won't climb into the boot of that unattended police car."
[Don't do it. Police get v. cross when they find you asleep several hours later.]

or, on one memorable occasion:

"You won't win a race up the ratlines of that big pole, mast thing."
[at Britannia Royal Naval College, Dartmouth.]

 

[DhobiWanKenobi]

Lots of spew stories going on here?? And there's me thinking it was only me who thinks you keep drinking until your sick!!?

Some of us aren’t man enough to handle or control it