needing advice fom u guys

needingadvice

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well to start off, jus wan2 say how i admire every1s deturmination on here.

to put it strate i don't even think i shud be on this site becuz I'm a lass, but *text deleted* been on 'rm wives' sites and but there isn't anythin i can find that is actually helping me understand what i wanta know.

my partner of 6 mnths is hopin to join the marines and he seems sidetracked with our rel becuz of it.
he trains and it seems there is no time for little old I anymore.
i hate that he wants to join the rm, sed it to him time n time again but he wont listen.

i just want to know if our rel (from a guys pov) will get harder once he is in? wen will he take weekends off and so 4th...

will there be lots of gals while away in other countries *text deleted* i donno if u get time for that/dont get time. dont wannhim actin lyk a sailor xD

do any of you guys hav *text deleted*? How do they deal with it while thyr around you?

i'm actulley thinkin of callin the rel off as his mind is bagged up. i no it may seem lyk im bein selfish but he can't seem to do anythin else other then train. theres more to life n if he doesn't get in then we'ree goin to be scr3w3d for nought.

jus need 2 understand if any1 wants to help?

shel x
 

jm745

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Well it's up to how much you both want it,
because people are married and have kids while they're in the military,
so it is possible,
just you need to talk to each other and see what you both want,
and if you'll be able to cope while he's away for long periods.

There's not many girls he can be involved with while away,
might be a few military personnel,
but he shouldn't be getting with them even if he's single,
and unless he decides to pay for a prostitute or get some girl drunk and get with her,
he won't really get with other women while away.

I've got a girlfriend,
thought you were her at first 'cause she's called shell *text deleted*,
but anyway,
we've been together 9 months,
it's going good,
she knows I want to join,
in a way she's gutted,
but she knows I really want to do it,
so she's supportive,
which is probably what your boyfriend needs,
a bit of support,
obviously you won't want him to leave,
but you should tell him that even though you don't like the fact he's joining,
you respect him for it and will support him.

Joe
 

Ninja_Stoker

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... dont wannhim actin lyk a sailor xD

Thanks Shel, I resemble that remark:sad2:

Seriously though, relationships can & most certainly do work in the services if both parties work at it. In some ways the separation can strengthen the bond as each time you meet again you have to get to know each other & will therefore tend to be more considerate of each other's feelings.

Separation, as you rightly state, is the issue. Your partner will need a lot of moral support from family (and a partner if they have one) throughout Commando training. The very, very last thing they want is someone who is trying to emotionally blackmail them to encourage them to leave as they will naturally be considering that option during the difficult elements of training anyway, without outside interference.

To put it bluntly I've lost count of the amount of guys that leave because of their partners, then instantly regret their decision. "Support" is the key word and through it, your relationship can strengthen. If you do not support your partner & instead encourage them to leave, you can expect resentment if things don't work out.

Interestingly I met my wife whilst I was serving, so she was used to long periods of separation. The irony is that now I'm home most of the time, it took us a long time to re-adjust.
 
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Sotiris

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All I can say is that whatever you decide to do, do it. i.e. If you're going to break up, do it now.

Ever seen the film Jarhead hehe?

I broke up with my girlfriend while I was serving Greece, hehe the worst damn day in the forces ever!

The biggest killer in the Greek army: Suicide. Followed by weapon malfunction/mal-handling and mistaken identity.

Having your girlfriend support you is one of the most powerful external factors that contribute to your performance in service.

You can either give it to him or leave before he's in.
 

proudtobebritish

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when I told my girlfriend i was joining she didnt seem too happy and was worried and all that but I said this is what I want. Few weeks later she started acting wierd and I could tell we wer drifting apart. Eventually we split up, I knew that was going to happen but I would still rather join the marines as i am only 17 and have my whole life to find and marry a woman.

But i dont know how old you or him are so im not sure.
 

blocky

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allright shell,

well *text deleted* it will get worse and there is a wide selection of other girls when he goes away. i join in october and im not getting a girlfreind untill im atleast 30 i think. to be tottal honest, relationships dont normally last long =/ sorry to be harsh love but thats how it is.

sorry

james
 

andy5sm

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i am the perfect example because i left training for my misses and i regretted it ever since just a big setback so if *text deleted* ok with him joining support him but if you feel like you cant handle it decide now because when he is in training a break up is hard when i was asked to leave by my misses my standards dropped big time and i gave up
but im going back now thats all that matters,
all the best good luck
 

Touchstone

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I'm not sure if this is true but apparently spending so much time apart will make the time you do spend together all the better. It also depends on the person, if you can cope with spending so much time apart and help the relationship remain strong.

Sorry to be annoying but could you refrain from excessive txt speak it is very annoying.
 

needingadvice

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thanks for all *text deleted* advice, rlly helps *text deleted*.
well i love him n support him, so *text deleted* chosen to stay wit him :]
spose il see wat happens

thanku agen guys
& good luck to all of u!

xx
 

gedro

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Well i learnt my lesson from last time, was with some girl for 3 years was madly in love could of spent rest of my life with her, then i started recruit training, i rang her everynight i could and when i was home i was with her all the time.

While i was away she started to get 'close' to some lad who she promised was just a 'friend', anyway i get him ringing me (he obviously got my number off her phone somehow) bragging about him nailing her etc etc so obviously that caused a few arguements and wtf's! Her denying it all etc. Eventually we finish.

Fast forward to this month, she gave birth to that lads baby just 2 weeks ago.

If i had known what she was getting upto i would of gone to number 4 blue door in exeter and shagged the most wrongest the most horrible fattest dirt they had to offer, got all infected up, gone back home and given her the goods and in turn she would give that lad what ever i given her, then go get cleared.

Women! not all, but most.

If you're going to stick by him, thats good, but make sure you do :love:, or his head will go even more f*cked up as it will already be from the intense training and lack of sleep, and that my dear is something he doesn't need.

Good luck. :dinner::dinner:
 

Seedytucker

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oh mate, thats' my worry, been with the mrs for 3 years, she's moving to southhampton in sept to start her PGCE- teacher's masters degree, (that whole marines +teachers/nurses thing seems to be true...) and i'll be starting RT shortly after (if all goes well) my main worry is her getting lonely and drifting towards someone else during my first deployment. especially in southampton with all those matelots about (eh ninja) *text deleted*. but seriously it's a worry for me that she'll get lonely and drift to someone else, but i guess in the meantime got enough to worry about without getting distracted with possibilities.
 

gedro

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Her main excuse for doing it was that she got lonely and he was just there to comfort her, then feelings started to develop, then me and her went downhill from there.
 
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Sotiris

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oh mate, thats' my worry, been with the mrs for 3 years, she's moving to southhampton in sept to start her PGCE- teacher's masters degree, (that whole marines +teachers/nurses thing seems to be true...) and i'll be starting RT shortly after (if all goes well) my main worry is her getting lonely and drifting towards someone else during my first deployment. especially in southampton with all those matelots about (eh ninja) *text deleted*. but seriously it's a worry for me that she'll get lonely and drift to someone else, but i guess in the meantime got enough to worry about without getting distracted with possibilities.


Haha never heard there was a Marine/teacher-nurse thing but my missus now is a nurse and the one I broke up with in the greek army is now a teacher :laugh:!
 

Seedytucker

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Her main excuse for doing it was that she got lonely and he was just there to comfort her, then feelings started to develop, then me and her went downhill from there.
therein is my worry- the mrs is an absolute sweetheart but she's a bit soft and i worry she'll get too lonely. i guess only time will tell though, worrying too much about it is only going to make it more likely to happen.
Haha never heard there was a Marine/teacher-nurse thing but my missus now is a nurse and the one I broke up with in the greek army is now a teacher :laugh:!
*text deleted* yeah i read somewhere that most marines (or in our cases PRM) end up with teachers and nurses. must be the personality types or summat
 
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Sotiris

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With all due respect to you lads but when a women says she's "getting lonely" I interpret that as "I'm getting horny and you're not here so..."

Lonely my ass! Friends, family?? Loneliness is not a state of sexuality.
 

Seedytucker

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different type of loneliness i guess. think they mean the whole sitting on a sofa watching tv having a hug type loneliness. just as no doubt on deployment marines get lonely even when surrounded by their mates, don't think it's all about getting their rocks off, though no doubt it plays a part. bit like when you comfort a girl that's crying and then you slip of her shirt and woopsydasie you've popped in to say hello...or is that just me? *text deleted*
 
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Sotiris

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Haha well it's definitely not me! I'm a one women man and proud to say it.
 

Seedytucker

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*text deleted* me too... i meant before... honest...hi lauren! *text deleted* just kidding i dont agree with that kinda relationship. but it makes a point- there are different types of lonely. the mrs (lauren) and i have a strong relationship and i'm sure we'll be fine but there's always a worry i guess.
 
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Sotiris

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Well good luck to you. I'm a little confused as to what I'll do with my relationship. I've been through the whole military break up thing before, trust me...NOT good! Haha and that was basic infantry training. They're so worried about break ups in the Greek army that if your CO or any superiors gets wind of it they pull you off guard duty and take your weapon away from you until you are deemed stable enough to handle it again haha! They're that worried you'll blow your brains out :bigsmile:.
 
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