Royal Marines and other family responsibilities

Twusske9

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Hi Everyone, I really enjoy learning about RM history and will one day definitely attempt to join, either in reserve or regular service. I just had some questions that I don't think anyone else has brought to attention. For a full time regular Royal Marines Officer, would it be possible to have a good family life, as I understand you are away much of the time? I say this because of the expectations of my culture and family, I will be married young(22) and will probably have kids shortly after that. Realistically would it be possible for me to be a regular without neglecting my wife and family, who would probably stay in London during my training and service? Any replies would be greatly appreciated, I hope you are understanding of my situation, I cannot go solo per say during my early life because it would make my family discontent with me.
 

browner467

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I’m 22, nearly 23 and I am currently going through the application process. I’ve always wanted to join the Marines but my parents wouldn’t let me join at 16 and have always been against the idea. They wanted me to get a trade behind me first and then by the time I had qualified, I would be old enough and they wouldn’t have to sign my papers.

Life happened and now at 22 I have a fiancée and little boy - they’re my world. But on the other hand I’ve always been vocal about joining the Marines and now my parents have come to realise that no matter what I do, I’ll always want to be a Royal Marine. Even having a child hasn’t changed that. I have the full support of my partner and that is all I need.

If you have a support network behind you, it can work. It’ll be difficult at times due to being away for extended periods but kids are resilient and they’ll adapt to the new way of life. Obviously I haven’t experienced it first hand yet but I certainly don’t see it as I’m neglecting my family - I think that when I’m home, we’ll actually appreciate and cherish our time together a lot more.

Basically only you can make the decision but it’ll be difficult if you don’t have the family support.
 

OddPikeFromCrimsonCity.

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Hi Everyone, I really enjoy learning about RM history and will one day definitely attempt to join, either in reserve or regular service. I just had some questions that I don't think anyone else has brought to attention. For a full time regular Royal Marines Officer, would it be possible to have a good family life, as I understand you are away much of the time? I say this because of the expectations of my culture and family, I will be married young(22) and will probably have kids shortly after that. Realistically would it be possible for me to be a regular without neglecting my wife and family, who would probably stay in London during my training and service? Any replies would be greatly appreciated, I hope you are understanding of my situation, I cannot go solo per say during my early life because it would make my family discontent with me.
Hey mate, . Training for an officer is a year and a half, and there's only one intake a year so it's very competitive and they need someone fully committed. With that being said its by all means possible, however, you do need a lot of family support behind you, and discuss with your missus how she feels about it as well, as you will be away a lot of the time on exercises and training.
 

Twusske9

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I’m 22, nearly 23 and I am currently going through the application process. I’ve always wanted to join the Marines but my parents wouldn’t let me join at 16 and have always been against the idea. They wanted me to get a trade behind me first and then by the time I had qualified, I would be old enough and they wouldn’t have to sign my papers.

Life happened and now at 22 I have a fiancée and little boy - they’re my world. But on the other hand I’ve always been vocal about joining the Marines and now my parents have come to realise that no matter what I do, I’ll always want to be a Royal Marine. Even having a child hasn’t changed that. I have the full support of my partner and that is all I need.

If you have a support network behind you, it can work. It’ll be difficult at times due to being away for extended periods but kids are resilient and they’ll adapt to the new way of life. Obviously I haven’t experienced it first hand yet but I certainly don’t see it as I’m neglecting my family - I think that when I’m home, we’ll actually appreciate and cherish our time together a lot more.

Basically only you can make the decision but it’ll be difficult if you don’t have the family support.
Thanks a lot for the reply, nice to see someone in the same boat as me, as I also have that underlying burning desire to join as well. Its just really important to me that my wife does not feel that I do not love her and cannot be a good husband while being in the Marines. I will discuss it when the time comes, hopefully my family and her will be supportive
 

Rob20

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Mate, I find this quite a tough issue personally. If you're referring to arranged marriages (I think you are but please correct me if I'm wrong), you have to be strong and stick to YOUR beliefs. I have worked with someone in a previous job who had an arranged marriage and I always found it hard to understand in this day and age, however I wasn't bought up with his culture and religion so not for me to judge.

However, what I will say is one day we'll be on our death beds and I certainly dont want to look back with any regrets. Live the life that YOU want, not anyone else.

With regards to time for your future wife and kids, if they're staying in london you'll only see them of the weekends and during leave periods as the majority of units are either in the south west or in Scotland. You'll have to figure out what means more to you mate and hope you find the right balance.
 

Twusske9

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Mate, I find this quite a tough issue personally. If you're referring to arranged marriages (I think you are but please correct me if I'm wrong), you have to be strong and stick to YOUR beliefs. I have worked with someone in a previous job who had an arranged marriage and I always found it hard to understand in this day and age, however I wasn't bought up with his culture and religion so not for me to judge.

However, what I will say is one day we'll be on our death beds and I certainly dont want to look back with any regrets. Live the life that YOU want, not anyone else.

With regards to time for your future wife and kids, if they're staying in london you'll only see them of the weekends and during leave periods as the majority of units are either in the south west or in Scotland. You'll have to figure out what means more to you mate and hope you find the right balance.
I really appreciate your understanding and advice, but marriage is something I also want early in life as I am not allowed to pursue non marital relationships due to religious reasons. I know it might sound bonkers to you lads, but thanks for understanding
 

Rob20

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I really appreciate your understanding and advice, but marriage is something I also want early in life as I am not allowed to pursue non marital relationships due to religious reasons. I know it might sound bonkers to you lads, but thanks for understanding

If that's what you believe, that's what you believe mate. Nobody can argue with that. Just make sure you're not pressured to do or be a certain thing. I've seen it quite alot with people I grew up with who were pressured by parents for a variety of reasons, have found they regretted not living their own life later on down the line.

Although with regards to religion and faith in the Corps, there is a real variety and your beliefs will be respected and catered for as much as possible.
 

Twusske9

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If that's what you believe, that's what you believe mate. Nobody can argue with that. Just make sure you're not pressured to do or be a certain thing. I've seen it quite alot with people I grew up with who were pressured by parents for a variety of reasons, have found they regretted not living their own life later on down the line.

Although with regards to religion and faith in the Corps, there is a real variety and your beliefs will be respected and catered for as much as possible.
Thanks a lot Rob, you have helped put my mind to rest.
 

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