shower time

hughbrown

Valuable Contributor
Joined
Apr 22, 2008
Posts
471
Reaction score
0
HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN

Take off clothes and place them sectioned in the laundry basket
according to lights and darks.

Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown.

If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.

Look at your womanly physique in the mirror - make mental note to
do more sit-ups/leg-lifts etc.

Get in the shower.

Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone.

Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added
vitamins.

Wash your hair again to make sure it is clean.

Condition your hair with conditioner enhanced with grapefruit and mint.

Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until
red.

Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash.

Rinse conditioner off hair.

Shave armpits and legs.

Turn off shower.

Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower.

Spray mould spots with tile cleaner.

Get out of shower.

Dry with towel the size of a small country.

Wrap hair in a super absorbent towel.

Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and the hand towel on
head.

If you see your husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.


>>HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN

Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave in a
pile on the floor.

Walk naked to the bathroom.

If you see your wife along the way, shake willy at her making the
woo-woo sound.

Look at your manly physique in the mirror.

Admire the size of your willy and scratch your bum.

Get in the shower.

Wash your face.

Wash your armpits.

Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse it off.

Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower.

Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area.

Wash your bum, leaving those coarse bum hairs stuck on the soap.

Wash your hair.

Make a Shampoo Mohawk.

Wee.
Rinse off and get out of shower.

Partially dry off.

Fail to notice water on floor because curtain was hanging out of bath
the whole time.

Admire willy size in mirror again.

Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on.

If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake willy at her and make
the woo-woo sound again.

Throw wet towel on bed.
 

ZZ

Veteran Contributor
Joined
Feb 5, 2008
Posts
736
Reaction score
0
haha..
i laughed most when it said wee.
immature i know *text deleted*
 

Gorillawizard

Well-Known Member
Joined
Jul 20, 2008
Posts
118
Reaction score
0
:applaus: Hilarious!

shake willy and make woo woo sound..... hmm i do that everytime!
 

Sam1

Royal Marines Commando - Moderator
Joined
Apr 30, 2008
Posts
1,632
Reaction score
740
HAHAHA f*ckin hilarious mate.

"Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse it off.

Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower."

me all over!! *text deleted*
 

spartan

Veteran Contributor
Joined
Jul 14, 2008
Posts
579
Reaction score
0
r u stalking me? *text deleted* (the man part) thats just like me *text deleted* brilliant
 

WrapJuice

Royal Marines Commando - Moderator
Joined
May 14, 2008
Posts
1,230
Reaction score
61
that is me and my missus down to a tee! i just read it to her and thought it was very funny.
 

hazza190

Valuable Contributor
Joined
May 21, 2008
Posts
221
Reaction score
0
Hahaa thats quality!!
Thats just exactly what I do! well half of it
'Shake willy and make woo sounds' haha legend
Great post!:fly:
 
Top