Tempted to join again.. (long rant)

parabol

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Alright, bit of a long post but it's just a bit of a rant really to get it off my chest. I'm sure you guys starting training soon will find it helpful. Bit of info, I'm 19 years old and I joined in the summer. I don't want to specify my troop but put it this way I'd probably be in about week 22 if I were still there.

Well to put it bluntly, I was and idiot for quitting. An immature, weak-minded idiot. I wasn't thinking straight and had it in my head that it wasn't for me from the first week without giving it even the smallest of chances inside my head meaning all I thought about was when I could opt out. It's all I thought about, and I spoke about it all the time with other lads who wanted to leave. I handed in my leaving chit without thinking and now regret it strongly.

I handed in my chit the beginning of week 4. I looked at Monday's orders which were on the noticeboard Sunday night and it said "Anyone wanting to leave hand in your chit tomorrow morning." I saw this and thought right, bugger it I'm *text deleted* hand it in.

I must admit by the end of the week I had adapted to training and was actually enjoying a lot of it. It was only the fact that I was in the leaving mentality and that I handed in the chit already that I went on with leaving. I felt as if I had already left to be honest because I had convinced myself prior. The lads knew I were leaving, the training team knew I was leaving, my parents knew I was leaving and so I think I ended up feeling like I had to go on and leave.

A few days before I actually left, I spoke to the corporal and said "Corporal, I've changed my mind, I want to stay." But then the next day I told him I want to leave again. And this was how my mentality was a lot of the time. For the rest of the last days I was there I didn't know myself what I wanted to do. Now that it had finally came to officially quitting and not just thinking about it I just couldn't fully decide. I believe if I didn't of handed in the chit in the first place I would of stayed but I didn't give it time and I acted on my temporary leaving mentality instead of waiting it out. I saw the notice, and just instantly write it.

I consider myself mentally stronger now, despite leaving only around 6 months ago. Looking back at the mentality I had in training makes me feel sick from being so weak minded, particularly in the beginning. I wouldn't say I was weak towards the end of my training but just confused from my weak start. I judged my entire potential career on not being for me within the first week and was too stubborn to change my mind. I wanted to join for so long, it's all I wanted and somehow I convinced myself in the first few days that I didn't want to be a Royal Marine anymore. To be honest a positive came from leaving, I'd now like to say I wouldn't do anything like that again and that I know myself more now.

Anyway, needless to say looking back I hate myself for not giving it longer and recently I've really considered going back in. Funny enough, the moment I got back home I knew I had made a mistake. Civi life was as *text deleted**text deleted* as I left it and within the first week of being home I went to the Army careers office to sign up for the Army!! hahaha! But to be honest, if I'm off in the Army I might as well give the Marines a shot again because I know deep down it's what I'd truly want.

It's mainly the fact that if I were to join again there is no chance of leaving at all for 2 and a half years or something? This adds a lot of pressure on me. What if I got far on in training and genuinely knew it wasn't for me? But I dunno.. after all this persistence of wanting to join I'm pretty sure it is for me.

Right, thats me done. Just a rant. Feel free to ask me any questions about my minimal experience in Royal Marine training. Before you guys start training just read this and remember it. I wanted to leave more than anyone when I was in there at points, and now I'm out I want right back in!
 

v3locity

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I think that if it is truly what you want to do you owe it to yourself to give it another go...

Perhaps having a bit more time on civvy street would help though.
 

foggers

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Well if you do re-join and enjoy it more, you'll know you've done the right thing. But if you really hate it then you will know it's not for you.

Turn your stubborness into something positive and be stubborn with yourself.

Anything in particular that made you quit or want to?
 

parabol

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Well if you do re-join and enjoy it more, you'll know you've done the right thing. But if you really hate it then you will know it's not for you.

Turn your stubborness into something positive and be stubborn with yourself.

Anything in particular that made you quit or want to?

I find it hard to tell people what made me quit, because I don't truly know myself. Foundation is what started the mentality. But to be honest, everyone knows foundation is *text deleted**text deleted*e! Obviously it was mental weakness, which happened like a domino affect. The first week is a massive shock to the body and mind and instead of cracking on with all your admin and thinking how it will only get better I did the opposite. From this original discomfort I just let it take it's toll on me more and more eventually fully accepting that it wasn't for me which led to me feeling worse and worse.

Everyone has moments were they want to leave, particularly in the first week. But were I failed is that i embraced the negative thoughts instead of disposing of them the moment I felt them and it just eventually swallowed me right up, turning me from the confident, determined man I thought I was into a weak one.
 

Mnemic5

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Well now you know what to expect for the first month.
Use it too your advantage, Second time should be alot better round.
 

matty630

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Just remember mate you're not supposed to enjoy training (some of it anyway) when i was there they told us to imagine your career in the royal marines as sliding down the stairs on the handrail, and RT being a splinter on the way down, and the rest is all good fun. If and when you re-join there will be times again when you want to leave as there will with everyone else but you've just got to keep your mind focused on the end goal as life as a royal marine will be the best years of your life, and you will be welcomed into the biggest and hardest boys club in the world. Jusk know you're never on your own when your feeling home sick.
 

ben25

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bloody hell mate , im guessin u were not the only one that has done this .

If your heart is telling u to go back in then defo do it . unless u have some crazy well paid job on civvy street
 

Ninja_Stoker

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It's mainly the fact that if I were to join again there is no chance of leaving at all for 2 and a half years or something? This adds a lot of pressure on me. What if I got far on in training and genuinely knew it wasn't for me? But I dunno.. after all this persistence of wanting to join I'm pretty sure it is for me.

Welcome to the site.

To be completely honest, you're far from the first & far from the last to be indecisive as it is a big commitment required, there appears to be no physical problems, just the state of mind, but viewed from the Corps perspective:

You wanted to leave at week 4, then you didn't, then you did, then you didn't, then you did. You then left.

Within a week of leaving you applied to join the Army. You are now considering joining the Royal Marines again.

It's possible you applied for the Army because the Royal Marines told you that you could not rejoin before a year or two had elapsed in order that you may be 100% certain it is what you want & that would certainly be my advice as it is important you end up doing a job you will be happy in. (Not least because it costs £7,500 to process each applicant).

When all's said & done, if you submitted notice to leave & subsequently rejoin you must complete Commando training (8 months minimum) give 2.5 years return of service & then submit 12 months notice before you may leave a second time. In other words, if you rejoin, you will serve a minimum of 4 years 2 months (assuming you do not get back-trooped).

If you are not sure- don't rejoin.

Good luck.
 

ste preece

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decision

Anyway, needless to say looking back I hate myself for not giving it longer and recently I've really considered going back in. Funny enough, the moment I got back home I knew I had made a mistake. Civi life was as *text deleted**text deleted* as I left it and within the first week of being home I went to the Army careers office to sign up for the Army!! hahaha! But to be honest, if I'm off in the Army I might as well give the Marines a shot again because I know deep down it's what I'd truly want.

It's mainly the fact that if I were to join again there is no chance of leaving at all for 2 and a half years or something? This adds a lot of pressure on me. What if I got far on in training and genuinely knew it wasn't for me? But I dunno.. after all this persistence of wanting to join I'm pretty sure it is for me.

Right, thats me done. Just a rant. Feel free to ask me any questions about my minimal experience in Royal Marine training. Before you guys start training just read this and remember it. I wanted to leave more than anyone when I was in there at points, and now I'm out I want right back in!
I understand where you are coming from. Basic training is both physically and mentally demanding. Along the way you found that things were becoming too much for you, and you exercised an option of leaving.

Back when I was in training, we used to play the Clash record of: Should I stay or should I go now. It referred to this. Its sort of a gut feeling, a deep dredd, that you just want to get away from.

Life in training isn't easy, but we know its not meant to be.

If I was in your shoes right now I'd write down all the reasons I want to be a Royal Marine and all the reasons I don't, if there are any. I'd also ask myself if I felt determined enough to succeed next time around, no matter what, if of course I made that choice. Then I'd stick with the choice I made, through to either another career path or the green beret at the end of basic training.

Best of Luck mate.


Steve
 
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