That I'm sitting here sewing elastic into my sons pink fluffy slippers so they don't fall off his feet during the dance show he's doing.
Also that I was able to get pink fluffy slippers in a size 11 gents.
Adrian Carton de Wiart. Was a vet of both world wars. In the first world war, he suffered many injuries, including losing his eyes, and having ripped his own fingers off after a doctor refused to remove them after another injury. Reflecting on his time serving in the war, he said "Frankly, I had enjoyed the war".
Another one: After the battle of Waterloo, a celebration was held, hosted in Vienna, which included many French guests. When old Nosey turned up, the French turned their backs on him to spite him. When the hostess tried to apologise to him, Nosey replied with, "It's okay Madam, I've seen their backs before".
Last one regarding Wellington, he went on to cuckold Napoleon's former mistresses;
was given Napoleon's sword;
A suggestive painting of his sister;
And to add salt to the wound, the former mistress said Wellington was better in bed than Boney was.