Things that make you laugh

Chelonian

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"Shoes!"

Must remember to immediately shout this when next I trip over my own feet.
 

Rover

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I went into Boots today and asked a young lady if she could recommend anything for sterilizing surfaces against the virus.

She replied.... Ammonia cleaner.

I said..... Sorry I thought you worked here.
;)

Always look on the Brightside of life.:):)
 

Duality

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That I'm sitting here sewing elastic into my sons pink fluffy slippers so they don't fall off his feet during the dance show he's doing.
Also that I was able to get pink fluffy slippers in a size 11 gents.
 

DJANGO

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Toilet paper might be sold out everywhere but there's not a national shortage of socks yet
 

Rover

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Additional supplies of Toilet Rolls have been ordered.:)

China has agreed to increase the shipment of re-cycled products from its main factories in Wuhan.o_O-banghead-
 

CallMeLucifer

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Adrian Carton de Wiart. Was a vet of both world wars. In the first world war, he suffered many injuries, including losing his eyes, and having ripped his own fingers off after a doctor refused to remove them after another injury. Reflecting on his time serving in the war, he said "Frankly, I had enjoyed the war".

Another one: After the battle of Waterloo, a celebration was held, hosted in Vienna, which included many French guests. When old Nosey turned up, the French turned their backs on him to spite him. When the hostess tried to apologise to him, Nosey replied with, "It's okay Madam, I've seen their backs before".

Last one regarding Wellington, he went on to cuckold Napoleon's former mistresses;
was given Napoleon's sword;
A suggestive painting of his sister;

And to add salt to the wound, the former mistress said Wellington was better in bed than Boney was.
 
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