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Things that make you laugh

Discussion in 'Jollies Bar' started by Ninja_Stoker, Jun 23, 2014.

  1. Ninja_Stoker

    Ninja_Stoker Admin

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  2. GreyWing

    GreyWing Nobody

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    It makes me laugh that these clowns think it is acceptable to be doing this. Let's see you dance next year when the cuts hit.

     
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  3. sharpe

    sharpe Veteran Contributor

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    I’m sure it seemed a good idea at the time! Doesn’t look like Ashley Banjo got the call:)
     
  4. Chelonian

    Chelonian Moderator

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    Seems to me that it's compulsory in 2020 for many in public service to either weep or break into a dance routine when in the presence of a camera.
     
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  5. sharpe

    sharpe Veteran Contributor

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  6. Rover

    Rover Moderator

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    What it's like to be British

    • Worrying you’ve accidentally packed 3 kilos of cocaine and a dead goat as you stroll through “Nothing to declare”

    • Being unable to stand and leave without first saying “right”

    • Not hearing someone for the third time, so just laughing and hoping for the best

    • Saying “anywhere here’s fine” when the taxi’s directly outside your front door

    • Being sure to start touching your bag 15 minutes before your station, so the person in the aisle seat is fully prepared for your exit

    • Repeatedly pressing the door button on the train before it’s illuminated, to assure your fellow commuters you have the situation in hand

    • Having someone sit next to you on the train, meaning you’ll have to eat your crisps at home
    • The huge sense of relief after your perfectly valid train ticket is accepted by the inspector

    • The horror of someone you only half know saying: “Oh I’m getting that train too”

    • “Sorry, is anyone sitting here?” – Translation: Unless this is a person who looks remarkably like a bag, I suggest you move it

    • Loudly tapping your fingers at the cashpoint, to assure the queue that you’ve asked for money and the wait is out of your hands

    • Looking away so violently as someone nearby enters their PIN that you accidentally dislocate your neck

    • Waiting for permission to leave after paying for something with the exact change

    • Saying hello to a friend in the supermarket, then creeping around like a burglar to avoid seeing them again

    • Watching with quiet sorrow as you receive a different haircut to the one you requested

    • Being unable to pay for something with the exact change without saying “I think that’s right”

    • Overtaking someone on foot and having to keep up the uncomfortably fast pace until safely over the horizon

    • Being unable to turn and walk in the opposite direction without first taking out your phone and frowning at it

    • Deeming it necessary to do a little jog over zebra crossings, while throwing in an apologetic mini wave

    • Punishing people who don’t say thank you by saying “you’re welcome” as quietly as possible

    • The overwhelming sorrow of finding a cup of tea you forgot about

    • Turning down a cup of tea for no reason and instantly knowing you’ve made a terrible, terrible mistake

    • Suddenly remembering your tea and necking it like a massive, lukewarm shot

    • Realising you’ve got about fifty grand’s worth of plastic bags under your kitchen sink

    • “You’ll have to excuse the mess” – Translation: I’ve spent seven hours tidying in preparation for your visit

    • Indicating that you want the last roast potato by trying to force everyone else to take it

    • “I’m off to bed” – Translation: “I’m off to stare at my phone in another part of the house”

    • Mishearing somebody’s name on the second time of asking, meaning you must now avoid them forever

    • Leaving it too late to correct someone, meaning you must live with your new name forever

    • Running out of ways to say thanks when a succession of doors are held for you, having already deployed ‘cheers’, ‘ta’ and ‘nice one’

    • Changing from ‘kind regards’ to just ‘regards’, to indicate that you’re rapidly reaching the end of your tether

    • Staring at your phone in silent horror until the unknown number stops ringing

    • Hearing a recording of your own voice and deciding it’s perhaps best never to speak again

    • The relief when someone doesn’t answer their phone within three rings and you can hang up

    • Filming an entire fireworks display on your phone, knowing full well you’ll never, ever watch it again
     
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  7. Omega

    Omega Valuable Contributor

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  8. Cheezy hammy eggy

    Cheezy hammy eggy Valuable Contributor

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  9. Rover

    Rover Moderator

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    With Garden Centres opening I thought I would get a Cactus Plant.......

    catus-plant.jpg
    :):):)
     
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  10. Ninja_Stoker

    Ninja_Stoker Admin

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  11. Chelonian

    Chelonian Moderator

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    Dancing with the QAs and the WRACs in Aldershot 1978.

     
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  12. GreyWing

    GreyWing Nobody

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  13. Chelonian

    Chelonian Moderator

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    @Caversham :)
     
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  14. Ninja_Stoker

    Ninja_Stoker Admin

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    Always thought that Des Barnes was a wrong un'.
     
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  15. Ninja_Stoker

    Ninja_Stoker Admin

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  16. Ninja_Stoker

    Ninja_Stoker Admin

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  17. Chelonian

    Chelonian Moderator

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    Madonna.
    It’s a good 1990's tune and the clip is worth watching all the way through but note the product placement at about 2:14. :)

     
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  18. Chelonian

    Chelonian Moderator

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    Dartmoor ponies are not immune from unkempt COVID-19 hair.

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    Image pinched from Warren House Inn, Postbridge.
     
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  19. Ninja_Stoker

    Ninja_Stoker Admin

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  20. Rover

    Rover Moderator

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