Time off during RT outside leave periods

[wannabe_commando]

Sorry if this has already been asked but wanted to get the most up to date info possible.
Is there any way to get a day off during RT?

I’m assuming the consequence of this would be being backtrooped, but it would mean a huge amount to my girlfriend if I was able to spend her birthday with her as, like most partners on here, my application has caused her a lot of stress but she’s been very supportive and am hoping this would help her cope a bit.

 

[ZincOxide97]

Outside of scheduled annual leave no. You'll get weekends occasionally but that is up to your training team.

There is of course exceptional circumstances for single days, these are things like funerals, a mate of mine got two days off from his YO batch to go to my other mates sandbags pass out (at which he lost his RM ID card and it's a quality dit for another time).

My advice with partners is give them the gen up front that you won't be there, if you get lucky and a weekend lines up then you're a winner but I wouldn't be telling my mrs that I'll be back for her birthday.

 

[Mosquito]

Perhaps invite your girlfriend on here to be added to the parents and partners section of the forums? I'm sure there's plenty of family members and partners on there that have had to experience the missing of birthdays and the like, and they might be able to offer her some advice or share their personal experiences.

 

[Rob20]

Mate, I'll be honest. It's not going to happen.

For context, I have missed my missus' birthday the last two years. Been away for mine every year except one since joining the Corps. At the end of the day its just a birthday, personally I stopped caring about birthdays when I turned about 13 however I understand that girlfriends think slightly differently.

Life in the military means you will miss these sorts of things and that is the sacrifice you and your family have to make. I would advise you to explain again that the training you'll be going through will be the toughest the UK has to offer, and to highlight yourself as choosing a birthday and backtrooping over cracking on with your training will have a detrimental effect on your progress.

She will have to suck it up for a year.

 

[mrar32]

Lads, did those of you with birds get 'the' question during your interview?; 'would you leave your partner for the Corps?', if so, how did you answer it? I said 100% - and shock, the relationship finished soon after.

 

[Rob20]

No. Im abit surprised that's something they'd ask. Service life is compatible with relationships, they're just under slightly more strain.

I'd never leave solely for a bird, luckily I've picked on who understands that and would never expect me to.

 

[mrar32]

No. Im abit surprised that's something they'd ask. Service life is compatible with relationships, they're just under slightly more strain.

I'd never leave solely for a bird, luckily I've picked on who understands that and would never expect me to.

Should have clarified; I meant to say girlfriend. Completely different story with long-term partners, marriages, or when kids are involved i guess.

 

[wannabe_commando]

Thanks for the replies lads. I had assumed as much, and can see that just cracking on with RT is more important than one birthday.

Lads, did those of you with birds get 'the' question during your interview?; 'would you leave your partner for the Corps?', if so, how did you answer it? I said 100% - and shock, the relationship finished soon after.

I didn’t get asked ‘the question’ but I was asked if I have a partner - I joked that I was joining to get away from her and didn’t even get as much as a smile from the guy interviewing me!

 

[Ninja_Stoker]

Lads, did those of you with birds get 'the' question during your interview?; 'would you leave your partner for the Corps?', if so, how did you answer it? I said 100% - and shock, the relationship finished soon after.

The interview is pretty much scripted, this is not a standard or recognised question. The interviewer would not routinely ask this question unless perhaps the interviewee had previously shown a history of false-starts in their application to join and declared this directly attributable to partner pressure.

The service certainly doesn't expect those joining to leave their partner, nor does it encourage it in the slightest.

With over 18 years of recruiting experience, I have lost count of the number of times a former recruit cites 'partner pressure' for their reason for quitting training and declares they later split up eventually anyway. This isn't to say anything other than if a relationship is on dodgy ground from the outset, then separation will almost certainly exert further strain. The adage: "absence makes the heart grow fonder" isn't always the case.

The key is communication, not splitting-up with anyone.

 

[mrar32]

The interview is pretty much scripted, this is not a standard or recognised question. The interviewer would not routinely ask this question unless perhaps the interviewee had previously shown a history of false-starts in their application to join and declared this directly attributable to partner pressure.

My friend was asked a similar question during his interview as well. I thought it was a common question, my bad. To be fair, we both stated that we had partners who were not keen on us joining so it must have been the reason why it was asked.

 

[Ninja_Stoker]

My friend was asked a similar question during his interview as well. I thought it was a common question, my bad. To be fair, we both stated that we had partners who were not keen on us joining so it must have been the reason why it was asked.

No worries. The interviewer wants to know whether the individual is a settling or training risk, but it's an odd question to ask because it's a fantasy/hypothetical question which can equally and easily be answered untruthfully.

It's better to ask what is your partner's opinion on your career aspiration.

 

[The guide]

As above unless a combat indicator was said by the applicant during the interview, not a question that I would ask or any CA I know would ask..the interview is not random, and is also now recorded and randomly checked.

 

[Ninja_Stoker]

Just to add, a friendly caution, @mrar32: "bird" is considered a derogatory or demeaning word, even if not intended as such and one which would be remiss of me not to strongly discourage as a trained Diversity & Inclusion adviser. We'll leave it at that.

 

[Advocado]

Honesty and a bit of empathy goes a long way with military partners. I feel jack when I have to go away for a long time and my wife is left on her own with the kids and holding down her own job, it must be pretty nails!

We get to go away and yes work hard, but also have a bloody good time too while they're stuck in normality with far less help. Takes a special person to be able to handle that and not resent you for it haha.

Be honest, tell her what the future holds, but then blow some smoke up her backside by saying how shes bombers and she'd be able to hack it. Maybe tell her about some of the benefits the military provide for couples (family accommodation) to get her on-side.

 

[Chelonian]

...my application has caused her a lot of stress but she’s been very supportive and am hoping this would help her cope a bit.

Disclosure — relationship advice from a serial train wreck relationship survivor. Always my fault, obvs:

As with many aspects of life effective comms matter. Rather than letting others live in hope and then be disappointed consider managing expectations by stating the possible worse case scenario from the get-go.

This forum has seen anguished posts from partners who have sat in a car across the road from CTCRM waiting to pick up their partner, ready to whisk him away to a secluded love nest for the weekend only to be told that weekend leave has been cancelled. It's a v. rare occurrence but it does happen.

 

[Mr D]

Disclosure — relationship advice from a serial train wreck relationship survivor. Always my fault, obvs:

To be honest @Chelonian I wasn't going to get involved, oh hang on,thought you was waiting for my input from sentence 1,