To those who want to join but won't cause of outside pressure

HoldFoldEm

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Hello lads,

I'm writing this for both myself and the potential younger lads (*I'm an old fart by recruitment standards - 25 years old) who may receive undue pressure from members of your family or education about joining the service, I highly recommend you follow your own path, for the suppression of such thoughts can force you into other, unpleasant decisions done to compensate for it, at least that's what (in hindsight) I think happened to me.

Ever since I was a kid, always wanted to join the military, Grandad was a WW2 Vet, Royal Artillery and that was my sort of inspiration combined with a general interest in history, especially the military aspect of it. My parents, especially my mother, were keen that I would not join the military, up to using cash as an incentive and up to an extent, a small lie, which in aggregate, resulted in a much larger negative outcome than could be foreseen by my younger self.

When I was about 15, I had requested to be sent to AFC Harrogate, to an extreme rejection by my mother mostly, she was adamant and would not send me albeit dad relented. I had Bunions, both feet but were not severe and mum essentially lied to me that I can't join with Bunions and that I would not be accepted at Medical. Now that would have been true if the toe overlapped the other one, but it wasn't so severe those days, given still young in age. Anyways I relented after the consistent rejection of that desire.

In a way I took it out on myself, decide to not give 2 *text deleted**text deleted** about my exams and essentially made sure I didn't do anything in my O' Levels except in English, which was easy given I was a bookworm and actually liked it. I decided to start working at the age of 15 and pretty much didn't give a damn about my education until about 20. Up until the age of 18, I was the equivalent of a Destroyer but just about my life. Partied all day, everyday, smoked tobacco to about 2 packs a day and wasted some of the best years of my life, but that's not the only destructive part I guess.

At about 18, I decided to quiet down and cold-turkey'd the cigarettes and started training again (stopped about 2-3 years ago due to really busy schedule), started working in Construction, then moved to Sales, Sales then Finance where I seemed to excel. I also tried to open a business but it still wasn't what I wanted and it failed, lost a few grand there but lessons learned..

However when you do stuff to compensate for what's suppressed, it sort of becomes self-destructive, you end up taking larger risks than you would like to, to try and excel and prove to yourself that you did the right decision..to keep it short I lost about 50% of my inheritance in the COVID crash, about £50K and my Job as well, was moving to London exactly when lock-down happened, notice period ended 28'th February 2020, can imagine the mental anguish that had on me. Part of it was pure luck (losing the role due to lock-down), part of it (certain investments) were excessive risk-taking to prove I was good at it).

I had a few months of chilling after that debacle, restarted training with the thought of the military again, always loved to train that way, so started running, long distance walking, hiking, swimming, calisthenics and the works. The stress of that debacle dissipated the more I realized how much I still wanted to join the service, did my research and saw that there's still the chance to join (age, weight, bunion-surgery + 1 year recovery time), and decided that whatever happens I'm taking the chance. Honestly I am in a much more calmer state than ever been in the last 10 years, clarity of an un-suppressed mind allows you to really focus and dedicate on the goal.

I genuinely believe I would not have done all those silly mistakes if I had been given the opportunity to go for it when I was younger or if I was skeptical about bunions being a definite bar-to-entry when I was of adult age. If you do have a desire for a career, make sure it's what you really want and go for it with a strong will and do your best, if you fail at it, at least no regrets when you're older about 'what if'.

Show your parents how much you really want it, and respect their opinions and desires but when you come of age, don't forget it or suppress it, it just doesn't feel right for a long-long time.

Apologies for the long rant, it's been something I've never spoke that much about. I still don't blame my parents for my decisions, I made my bed thus I sleep in it, I could have just matured faster and done a-lot of smarter decisions re studying etc, however I do genuinely believe the desire to compensate for that desire influenced my over-all path, and hopefully I can put some clarity in at-least one lads' mind who's in a similar situation.

Long story short, think about what you want to do, do you want to do it just cause of the money? If yes, at least for me, never worked-out and never had peace-of-mind. I never wanted to join the service for the money, it's always cause I liked the values and the camaraderie, so hopefully I haven't missed my chance (applying next year once the 1 year from surgery passes), and neither should you!

Best and whatever you decide to do in our borrowed bodies and time, Bonne Chance!

R
 
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Foxx

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Can't fully relate as my parents never said no to me going. I am 17 and my mum did not hesitate to sign the papers, she believes I can do what I choose and she won't stand in my way. She is nice in that way, of course she cares but she doesn't believe she can tell me no to a big life choice. A lot of the pressure I have faced is more due to people saying 'it's too hard' ... My dad for example was always saying I should join the army first 'get some experience'. Still says it now, I know it's just a lack of knowledge in fitness but it definitely annoys me when I know I work hard and making great progress. Same goes for the warehouse lads at work, they don't bother me nearly as much as they have no say in my ability, but they would always say 'nah you aren't the type of person to join the marines' as if they know anything about what it takes or how diverse it is in the Marines. To be honest, my progress alone shows that sooner or later I will be fit enough to do it so it's just a waiting game. Just the slower it takes the more time I feel is wasted! If you really want it you'll get it. Best of luck mate
 

Chelonian

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...but they would always say 'nah you aren't the type of person to join the marines' as if they know anything about what it takes or how diverse it is in the Marines.
There was a thread on the forum some years ago where the topic was "How to tell people you are joining the Royal Marines."
The general drift was whether one should keep quiet or mention it and risk some negative, sceptical comments from the uninformed people in one's life.

A humble approach might be a good strategy. As each element is ticked off, the bitter nay-sayers are quietly but effectively put back into their box:

"I've got my Royal Marines interview soon. They are very fussy. Many don't pass."

"I've got my Royal Marines VPJFT+ soon. It's not easy. Applicants fail. But I'll give it my best shot."

"I've got my start date for ROP at CTCRM. Arguably it's a four week job interview and assessment. Not everyone passes."
 

Foxx

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There was a thread on the forum some years ago where the topic was "How to tell people you are joining the Royal Marines."
The general drift was whether one should keep quiet or mention it and risk some negative, sceptical comments from the uninformed people in one's life.

A humble approach might be a good strategy. As each element is ticked off, the bitter nay-sayers are quietly but effectively put back into their box:

"I've got my Royal Marines interview soon. They are very fussy. Many don't pass."

"I've got my Royal Marines VPJFT+ soon. It's not easy. Applicants fail. But I'll give it my best shot."

"I've got my start date for ROP at CTCRM. Arguably it's a four week job interview and assessment. Not everyone passes."
I don’t keep many people involved in my application, not anyone really. Just told people it was what I wanted to do. Just funny to hear people’s opinions when they don’t know much about it all. I have just lost 3 stone so maybe people still think I’m that guy haha
 
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