Where would your hide the keys?

KatnissEverdeen

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I was browsing on twitter and came across a guy that posted “you are offered £1,000,000 if you can hide a pair of car keys from the entire mi5/6 and Scotland yard detectives for 7 days. You can only hide it in your house ( so you cant just chuck it in the ocean for example) Where do you hide the keys?”
Personally I would hollow out a table and put the keys in there and fix it up again like nothing happened.But I am interested to see what other people would do.
 
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J9R4W

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For a million quid? I'd probably hollow out a small bit of the masonry somewhere in the house. Hide the keys in it, cover it with poly and plaster, sand down, then finally paint over it.
 

mace

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Kitchen sink’s P trap in a waterproof bag if it is small enough not to disturb the water flow.
 

Illustrious

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@J9R4W good luck with that. Forensically speaking, you'll find it difficult to match the paint exactly, having to take into account not only the colour, but the fading due to UV damage, whether the house has smokers in it, dirt etc.

Not to mention, a piece of equipment similar to ground penetrating radar will pick up the change in density around the area. Or just a metal detector.

Honestly, it's surprisingly difficult to hide something as large as a car key in an area as small as a house.
 

Claddagh

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But seriously...in the back of the fallow deer hanging on the wall. Easy to open it up, put inside, seal again and re-mount!
 

sharpe

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I spent time with a specialist team and we carried out the venue and hotel searches ahead of things like G8 summit etc. You’d be amazed how in depth they were even when time was limited and multiple locations had to be searched. I’d say a full search team + tech with 1 week in a house setting it would be impossible to hide a pin never mind a bunch of keys!
 

KatnissEverdeen

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For a million quid? I'd probably hollow out a small bit of the masonry somewhere in the house. Hide the keys in it, cover it with poly and plaster, sand down, then finally paint over it.
Ha ha thats exactly what I said! Hollow out a table paint over it done
 

KatnissEverdeen

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@J9R4W good luck with that. Forensically speaking, you'll find it difficult to match the paint exactly, having to take into account not only the colour, but the fading due to UV damage, whether the house has smokers in it, dirt etc.

Not to mention, a piece of equipment similar to ground penetrating radar will pick up the change in density around the area. Or just a metal detector.

Honestly, it's surprisingly difficult to hide something as large as a car key in an area as small as a house.
I definitely was not expecting a whole science lesson off an answer but oh well!
 

Illustrious

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You'll be surprised at just how in depth a search team can go. When we send our vehicles off to get work done, we have to strip them out of all the sensitive kit and then once it comes back, we have to strip the vehicle down again and go over it with a fine tooth comb to make sure nothing has been inadvertedly added that shouldnt be there.
 

KatnissEverdeen

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Can it be inside me, while I am inside the house?
Not going to lie but If I was a detective that would be the first place I would look. When I was younger I used to love to watch ‘nothing to declare’ (basically a show that Follow UK Customs and Border Protection officers as they attempt to enforce the country's various customs, immigration and finance laws). I dont know why as I was like 8 but I used to find it really interesting what airport security find in people. Some guy got stopped for bringing like 10kg of raw chicken another was stoped for bringing a whole bbq on board his excuse ‘ it was incase I was hungry during the flight’
Anyways almost all drug smugglers had them in their body.
One person put them inside the ink of felt tip pens which was smart I guess but needless to say none of these made it past security.
Life lesson- its illegal to smuggle 10kg of raw chicken into a country
 

J9R4W

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@Illustrious I had thought the new paint may be an issue... For a million quid though I'd be prepared to repaint/wallpaper the entire house at the very least haha.

If they had a metal detector, I reckon you could just chance it by stashing the keys in the wall next to the boiler/plumbing to throw off the metal detector(?)

EDIT: Also the possibility of just leaving them on the kitchen table? It'd be so obvious the search team might dismiss/overlook them?
 
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Tetley

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I'm with Grey Wing on this, hiding in plain sight is the way to go (although not sure tens of thousands of sets of keys would be inconspicuous) coupled with some basic misdirection and subterfuge.
Some techniques to confuse:
  • lots of biscuits
  • Box sets of Spooks and 24
  • Set the radio and TV to any Al Jazeera channel
  • Few copies of the illuminating works of Tommy Robinson
  • Have copies of both the Telegraph and the Guardian
  • lots of plasticine, cut wires, batteries and alarm clocks.
  • Glass bottles with various coloured liquids and powders.
  • Lots of PPE
You'll have them spinning for weeks, or you'll be sanctioned in an hour?
 
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